And then there are the self-inflicted moments of not feeling good enough and wanting to improve yourself, maybe by watching “motivational” videos. I had my periods watching that stuff in my early twenties. “Fulfill your potential,” “pain is temporary,” yadayada. Anyway, it’s all with the intent of improving (because you don’t feel good enough).

And yes, improvement has brought us much—new technology has saved both my life and that of my daughter, for example—and it isn’t a bad thing to improve yourself either, per se. It is better to feel healthier and happier than not, and all that. But when improvement at all costs—or even more sadly, consuming “content” about improving yourself without doing anything—is what society is mainly busy with, we lose the whimsy and fun that life inherently provides. We lose the actual happiness we try to achieve by “improving ourselves.”

So instead of improving, I say we’d better start improv-ing.

You know, improv, the term used for on-the-spot playing with whatever is in front of you, especially in theater (coming from the full word improvisation). Or, as I see it, dancing with reality as it presents itself, where you don’t try to improve it, but play with it, move with it, improvise with it.

One of the key ways that improv works, and keeps working, is by saying “Yes, and…” In an actual improv session, when someone says, “Do you want a cup of coffee?” you don’t say, “No, I don’t like coffee.“ Because that way, you stop the game of improv (or at least make it harder to play). Instead, see the question of wanting coffee as an invitation. You might say, “Yes, please, with some milk.” Or, if you want to keep closer to the actual truth of not wanting coffee, improv around it and say, “I normally like coffee, but I’m trying to lower my caffeine, do you have tea, maybe, or decaf?” This invites the other player(s) to play in turn because you added something to the game.

Life can be like that amazing improvisation game, and is an amazing improv partner; it’s always willing to play.2 But instead, a large part of society and culture focuses on improvement all the time,3 which is so goal- or outcome-focused that you miss the invitations from the world around you to come out and play.

So here’s an exercise for you:

Next time you come across something that you want to change or make better, ask yourself, “How can I play with this? How can I say ‘Yes, and…’ to this situation, instead of trying to improve it?” I bet you’ll get funny, even peaceful (because you’ll accept life more), and unexpected results out of your dance with life!

Cheers,

Jibran

Naturally, I am not so much a man of action. I am more of a thinking man.

I would even go so far as to say that if you’d point to an actual addiction I have, it’d be capital T, Thinking, or better said, overthinking.

To avoid overthinking today’s piece… (heh), I won’t be discussing all the reasons for overthinking, such as fear of failure, a lack of self-acceptance, health issues, and all that jazz.

What I will discuss today is my choice of mate, of all things.

Even though I have learned to stop overthinking (as much) and embrace uncertainty, taking action is something I have had to learn (and am still learning).

This process of becoming a man of action is a bit like forging a seemingly useless piece of metal into a functional tool or majestic weapon. In the raw iron ore lies the ultimate potential, but it needs hammering and shaping to come into being.

Still, even though a blacksmith can forge great things, at the beginning, he is very limited. He can only make great works by using the right tools. Tools he must first make with lesser tools. And with those tools, make better tools. So, by definition, his first work will not be as great as his potential. Though working onward, making better tools, and in turn using these tools to shape even greater work, he can achieve the best work he is able to.

Only then may he achieve his potential.

The first tool he needs to make is a hammer. At the start, though, a piece of stone could suffice as a hammerhead. So he’d shape a metal hammerhead by pounding on it with a piece of rock.

At this time, I wouldn’t fault you for thinking the hammer is the most important tool for a blacksmith, but it’s actually not.

“What is it then?” you ask.

Well, it’s the thing to pound on, like another (bigger) rock. But a rock is brittle and will break. It’s much better to have something that doesn’t break under pressure. Something level and firm, so the newly forged tool can be straight and true. Something that can take the heat from the blacksmith’s inexperienced, heavy-handed beating.

The best is a strong steel anvil.

No, not because I’m beating her, you silly! (Though she won’t say no to a good “pounding” that sets sparks flying. 🥵🙈)

And no, also not because of her weight (she weighs less than 54kg/120lb).

No, it’s because, for one, her last name is Steel…

I kid you not.

More importantly, and true to her name, she is the steel anvil on which I forge my tools of action-taking.

You see, she is very much action-oriented. On a Thinking-Action spectrum, we are each other’s opposites. Meaning, for me, she’s the best teacher in taking action that I can have. Day in and day out, I am confronted by her inclination to take action.

Here’s a simple, real-life, but telling example:

I’m excessively planning and overthinking, again, on some maintenance on the house.

She calls me out and tells me to just get to work on it.

Me, ignoring her, dive deeper into the details of what to do, but don’t pick up the actual maintenance work.

*time goes by*

Then—and this is most confronting to me—she picks up the hammer herself to do the maintenance!

Oh the shame!

Like a true anvil, she bounces back with exactly the action-taking energy that I put into my (over)thinking.

I’d even say that my falling in love with Gigi over 16 years ago was partly due to my natural intuition in finding an equal but opposite force to my overthinking.

And now, having finally married a few years ago, I can truly say I’m her “Man of Steel” (as opposed to “Boyfriend of Steel,” which she was pestering me with for 14 years)!

But not merely a “Man of Steel” because I’m Steel’s husband, but mainly because, with her help as my Steel anvil, I have been forging myself into a better action-taking tool to pursue my potential.

And finally, as many of you know, “Man of Steel” is also a name given to Superman…

I only hope I can aspire to be her Superman. ❤️

PS. I have an actual 600-pound anvil in the backyard, which I bought when I was moonlighting as a blacksmith 10+ years ago. Here’s the crazy story of how it got there:

I wrote the piece below about two years ago as a kind of hypothesis. At the time it didn’t quite fit with my other work, so I left it in my drafts. But since the topic has recently been in the news here in The Netherlands more often, I feel it’s the right moment to share it.

Most men have not experienced an initiation process, a coming-of-age ritual to get into manhood, nor have they seen many examples of actual masculinity, of “real” men.

Sorry to start with a side note after only one sentence, lol, but I think it is necessary to quickly explain what I mean by the terms “real” men and “real” women. In short, a real man or woman is someone who lives according to who they truly are/feel themselves to be. Not putting on a mask of “manhood” or “womanhood.” So I don’t believe there is an actual objective definition of real men and real women—though I would say some major traits are much, much more common among one group vs the other and vice versa, that’s what I’m talking about below.

In any case, I do think YOU have a version that is true to you in your mind about your manhood or womanhood. So it’s fine to go with that.

As a consequence, they have not learned to serve and protect (what I see as some of the important traits in masculinity). Instead, they only take or receive, i.e., “momma’s boys” or “spoiled boys” that turn into fiends.

And because there are so few men who lead, protect, and serve by example, these spoiled men have not learned that with greater (physical) power comes a greater responsibility. So the greediest of these manless men use their power to take what they want from the “givers,” universally understood to be the feminine, nourishing, and accepting, though physically weaker.

In historical (maybe idealised, probably simplified… hunter-gatherer) times, there would be equality and an equal transaction; women would nourish and give, and trust that the men around them would serve and protect.

A WIN-WIN.

Subscribe now

So, now that the game is more and more a WIN-LOSE game—I would say due to society becoming so large that immoral people can reign free—the rise of radical feminism is an understandable reaction to the unmanhood of many men; better to be on the winning side of a WIN-LOSE game, right?

But attacking masculinity—what seems radical feminism is about, as opposed to non-radical feminism, which seeks to have equal rights for men and women—has the exact opposite effect. It tries to win a WIN-LOSE game, but actually leads to a LOSE-LOSE outcome.

This happens, imo, because radical feminism conflates the power grab of immoral men with true manhood. And thus tries to feminize men (even more), creating a feedback cycle of "spawning" more immoral men. This happens in at least two ways (that overlap):

• men who grew up to see themselves as so weak or guilty for being a man that they become the human version of a castrated cat. (Easily swayed by others due to insecurity, no woman trusts them to protect them, higher chance to stay alone, possibly grows resentful. i.e., an “incel”1…)

• men who lean into the bad things that are said about masculinity (if you say, “you’re a bad boy!” long enough, some really do start to turn into a bad boy/man) and who might follow, say, a toxic masculinity guru (which, imo, is far from actual masculinity).

I don't know the answer to the broader societal issues at play (were it so easy, we wouldn't have these conversations), but I’m sure the answer is not to deny our femininity or masculinity. I.e., “castrating” men as opposed to helping them feel strong enough to sit comfortably and vulnerably with their own feelings, or teaching women to constantly put on a cold steel harness as opposed to helping them become confident and caring and willing to trust, is a harmful knee-jerk reaction.

It’s also not becoming a radical feminist, an incel, or a follower of Tate, btw.

The best, I think, is to just be kind to yourself and to others, and whether you are (very) feminine or masculine—no matter your gender—just to be yourself and accept others as they are.

And don’t forget, luckily, most people are good.

Jibran ❤️

PS. Maybe a small endnote: The premise is “fewer good men lead to fewer good women.” But it’s equally true the other way around. “Fewer good women lead to fewer good men.” (Men get raised by women as well, as just one data point.) But, as a man, I feel it’s more appropriate for me to write the male side of things, because there’s an actual lived experience there. So if I were to write the “other side,” so to speak, I would need way more research and conversations. But maybe there is a woman among you who has comments on this.

PPS. Ok, another endnote, lol. I speak here of masculine, feminine, man, woman; if you identify as one or the other (or none, or in between) but feel more masculine/feminine, read it as if it speaks to you. In the context of society, psychology, and all the issues surrounding this, I find the metaphor of manhood/womanhood/feminine/masculine much more interesting than our actual physical gender phenotypes.

Sometimes, you’re so much in the thick of it that you’re unaware of your state, whether it be emotional, mental, or physical. But those states affect you and those around you 24/7. Getting a heads-up on how you feel and how you are going through your world can be very nice.

The term “heads-up display” is pretty cool, though I never thought about the meaning of the name before writing this, the display is giving you a “heads-up.” Duh!

To explain the function of a heads-up display (HUD) in a game a bit for those not initiated in the world of gaming, let’s look at any modern first-person shooter game—for example, Halo—where it’s helpful to see some stats or notifications of your in-game states. There’s a health bar, shield indicator, ammo indicator, and a bunch more. They show you important information about the state of your in-game character so you can act on the information and play the game better, with more fun and mastery.

Much like a game’s HUD, it’s even more useful to have an in-life one that helps you to be aware of your personal state. So let’s try to imagine one through a fun little exercise!

1. Imagine a heads-up display in your mind that tracks important states for you. (Maybe it works best for you if you close your eyes.) You can use any colors, symbols, and sounds that you feel are applicable. Then be still, take a few deep breaths, and feel your body…

2. What sensations come up? Is there tightness, unease, or pain somewhere? Where does it come from? If you’d imagine a HUD alarm, what would it say? (“Beep beep, find a health pack!”) Are you thirsty? (”Beep beep beep, your hydration bar is low!”) Are you hungry? Sleepy? Sad? Excited? Distracted?

3. No matter what sensations come up, allow them, feel them, and take note especially of the ones you’d like to check more often. Then put an extra alert for that sensation on your imagined HUD.

4. Next time you feel overwhelmed, close your eyes, imagine your personal HUD, and see what alarms or notifications pop up that you can act on (or just be aware of and accept).

Let me know what it was like to do this exercise!

Cheers!

Jibran

PS. And just so you remember, it’s never the case that you’re not feeling anything; the question is, are you aware of the sensations?

After writing the first post in this series—on the most important words a man can say—I quickly pressed on and was halfway through writing some high-brow 4000-word part 2. (With examples from culture, jokes, philosophical references, and even a new meme! All the bells and whistles.)

But then I didn’t touch my writing for a week and realized—and I have to relearn this every time—that I was making things too complex again.

Sometimes I’m such a donkey. 😂

Often, the most difficult things are better explained implicitly, through metaphor, instead of explicitly. Just like giving a hug to someone grieving a loss is a much better way to show you care than saying something like, “My condolences” or, “I’m sorry to hear that.” (Here I go, explaining again, haha!)

So, today, I’ll tell you my perspective on how meaning-making happens through a short illustrative story I wrote.1

Awakening in the stream

After long last, you’ve become aware that you’re in a river and realize that you got sloshed around all the time, not knowing up from down, trying to swim upstream with so much effort but barely any result. You were at the mercy of the rushing water around you. This is what it felt like not to have control and having a feeling of never gaining any control. Your main drivers were existential dread, frustration, and anger at the world and its injustice.

But now that you’ve become aware you’re in a river, you laugh out loud at the idea of swimming upstream, and you realize that mucking about underwater is achieving very little as well. So you accept the lack of control, you let go, and “go with the flow.”

As you float up to the surface, you gain a clear view of the river, where it came from, and where bends, turns, and waterfalls are coming up. Then you notice that you can swim in the river, and you decide to try to reach the banks of the river. You’re able to hold onto the side of the riverbank for a very short moment, resulting in a moment of extreme clarity as the river, as life, rushes you by with its raging life force.

After a while, you realize you can even aim—or direct—tiny parts of the river’s flow using your body. You find you do have some control after all, even if it’s very little. After playing in the water with your newfound abilities, you look around and see other people in the water with you. You see many thrashing around just like you did before, and you feel a deep understanding and compassion for them. The thrashing causes some suffering, mainly for the ones thrashing around. Still, all those people struggling so hard mostly create random splashes that the river was making anyway.

You also see a few others, slowly drifting with the stream, head above water, looking ahead or to the side peacefully and with clarity, just like you. You start making eye contact, realize you’re “in the same boat,” and slowly drift to each other. The group of people you connect with in this way becomes larger and larger, and you realize that together, you can create exponentially bigger shifts in where the water flows.

Together, your actions of directing the water create temporary pools where those thrashing around in the river can find calm, peace, and joy. On top of that, the connections you build with those directing the stream with you create a sense of belonging and purpose; your realization of being in the river shows you that it’s impossible not to make meaning.

You’re grateful the river exists, for without it, you wouldn’t have had the possibility of making those connections, enjoying the flow, and helping those around you.

Afterword

As a long-time seeker of meaning, I've poured a lot of effort into “finding a purpose,” often pushing myself and others too hard. Thrashing around in the river… so to say. But eventually, I realized it’s impossible to build a meaningful life on a foundation of control. Because, in the end, there is not much you can control. Instead, I realized that the base layer of a peaceful and fulfilling life can only be surrendering to what is and, as a result, being grateful to be given the chance to enjoy the experience of existence. And funnily enough, that realization gave me more control. 

What now?

If you let the story and its consequences marinate for a bit and start to resonate with it, it gives you all you need. But in the next post, I’ll make it a little bit more concrete for two reasons:

• We live in a very left-brained society, i.e., analytical and object-oriented. I’m certainly “guilty” of over-analyzing stuff. But it does mean we sometimes find things hard to accept without a more wordy or thorough explanation.

• Second, I promised in part 1 that I’d share more about the framework of how I look at this, with a picture and all that. So I don’t want to let the people who expect that down.

So next time, I’ll go into the 4 A’s of meaning-making (hint: the bolded words in the story above).

Thanks for reading!

Jibran

In the modern age, we use technology as a crutch to help us walk through life because we fear we can't stand on our own legs or lean on those of others.

This creates a state of disconnection and helplessness, resulting in a sense of meaninglessness.

But we have perfectly good legs...

…we've just forgotten how to use them.

Hey friends, welcome back to Meaning-Making.1 It’s been a while, a little over six months. But I have not forgotten you, not at all.

First, let me give you a short update that I’ll promptly tie into today’s topic.

Life was insanely busy—for many reasons—not the least because I burned myself out a bit.2

Doing what?

Well, first, hosting and participating in a 100-day writing challenge, then preparing for my own wedding, and lastly, juggling family life as Gigi, my wife—who was, up to that point, officially, not my wife, though we’ve been calling each other husband and wife for years…—had crisis after crisis at her work.

But wait, here’s the kicker: while all this is happening, naive me committed to taking singing lessons.

Every other week.

Practicing every day.

In secret!

Sing for me, baby

Last year, knowing our wedding was coming up, I asked myself what the greatest sacrifice was that I could offer to show my love to Gigi (that didn’t involve some silly dramatic Romeo-and-Juliet-dying thing). Immediately, the answer popped up in my mind:

“Sing for her.”

This meant overcoming my biggest anxiety... singing. I had zero, nil, nada experience singing. The most I did was “hum” a bit under the shower. The thought of actually using my voice for anything more than just talking—rather monotonously, as I do—was terrifying. Merely at the thought of singing, I would be overcome by an intense feeling of shame.

But with the help of a very patient and openhearted teacher (thank you, D!), I got through the cathartic process of overcoming the shame of singing—and went on to sing “Rollercoaster” by Danny Vera for Gigi during our ceremony. (It was already “our song” before I decided to take the singing lessons because our life together had been such a roller coaster up to this point.)

It was a beautiful moment with gasps of surprise, tears of love, and smiles of joy. A moment where I was grateful to be able to show my love through singing words that resonated within both of us.

In any case, a moment I will never forget and which I’ll likely expand on in another post. Maybe a post about overcoming shame? Or one about finding your (metaphorical) voice?

Why not today?

Well, since I’ve been away from you for half a year, I think it’s fair to summarize why I’m writing Meaning-Making, this publication, in the first place. Especially now that, over the last year, I have gained a clearer idea of how the things I write serve the people who might read all this. So, in Simon Sinek fashion, I’ll take you through the golden circle—the Why, How, and What—of Meaning-Making. I’ll spread it out over three posts to not overwhelm you.

Before we get into today’s topic, which is about my Why, I’ll give a quick overview of what you can expect.

• Part 1 - The most important words a man can say (or sing… or write…).
  (you’re reading this right now)

  • Why I think it’s important to share my ideas about practicing how to live a joyful and grateful life of peace, clarity, purpose, and connection.

• Part 2 - Going from Seeker to Maker in the Modern Age.
  (aiming to publish ~Nov. 20th, very excited to share this!)

  • How my philosophy, including a simplified but powerful view, helps one practice the art of meaning-making.

• Part 3 - What my writing aims to do to support this art of meaning-making.
  (aiming to publish ~Nov. 27th)

  • What do I write, how did I come to write, and what can you expect from me in the future?

Ok, onto today’s part, part one, my Why.

The most important words a man can say

This heading above, “the most important words a man can say,” is actually a line from one of the epic fantasy novels from the Stormlight series, authored by prolific fantasy writer Brandon Sanderson. The series has an immortal order of Knights, the Knights Radiant. These Knights have certain ideals, or sayings, that serve as oaths or mottos—or magic words, even—that they live by. One of these sayings, in particular, has stuck with me since the day I read Sanderson’s books. It is this:

“Journey before Destination.”3

"Journey before Destination" is more than a saying to me—it's one of my core beliefs. I believe that life, seen as a journey of self-actualization—and, ultimately—self-transcendence, is what makes life meaningful. (As opposed to frustratingly seeking for meaning.)

It took two decades of additional life experience, where—starting out as a teen, writing on LiveJournal4—my writing and thinking evolved from youthful clichés focused on seeking meaning, to a clear philosophy, of making meaning. 

Or rephrased to fit the above saying: I had to learn to go from seeking a destination to realizing I was making a journey.

But why is this important, and why is it important now? I.e., why are these the most important words I can say?

I think in this modern day and age, more than ever, we use technology and media as a crutch to help us walk—or, I’d even go as far as to say “cope”—through life because we fear we can't stand on our own legs or lean on those of others. (I certainly had to learn how to do so.)

So, it’s no wonder that this state of alienation and disconnection from nature, others, and ourselves—combined with a deep feeling of helplessness—can result in an overwhelming sense of meaninglessness.

But we have perfectly good legs; we've just forgotten how to use them.

So, stretching this metaphor a little further, next week we’ll look at How I think we can stand, walk, and run through life by practicing the art of meaning-making.

Here’s a little sneak-peek image of what I’ll talk about in the next post:

But before we close off, let me tie it all back to the story at the start of this post.

What the realization of making meaning has given me

Overcoming my anxiety to sing and serenading Gigi in front of a crowd was my ultimate expression of saying, “I love you.” It was the way I knew, for sure, that I’d show her my heart. But I could not have done that—and many other things—ten or even five years ago when I was still in this frustrated-seeking state of mind.

Going from meaning seeker to meaning maker has allowed me to live a much more peaceful, authentic, and connected life.

And I want to share what I learned to help others enjoy their journey.

So, in the same spirit as showing my love to Gigi through singing words, I am writing words in this publication to show and remind you that living a meaningful life is something you can learn. It’s an art of embracing every step of the journey rather than seeking a final destination.

Thanks for reading.

Here is a question for you to ponder before we meet again:

What are the most important words you can say (or sing, or write)?

Let me know in a comment!

Leave a comment

Glad to be back, cheers!

Jibran

Btw, you can read the previous posts in this series here below:

1. It's easy to be ignorant of your gift.

2. Your gift can feel like a curse.

3. Find someone who is a catalyst for your power.

So, here we go—part four: Wear Your Power Like a Mantle

Let’s explore the mantle metaphor

You know, when I first thought about using the concept of a mantle as a metaphor for our gifts, it reminded me of those grand, flowing cloaks you see in movies, where the hero wraps themselves in it to face the world. And I think that's actually a pretty cool way to visualize our gifts—they're like these incredible, protective layers that surround us, giving us strength and purpose.

The Divine Authority of the Mantle

I don't know about you, but I've always felt like there's something special about the idea of a mantle. It's more than just a piece of fabric; it symbolizes divine authority or protection. When we think about our gifts in this way, it's like we've been given these unique abilities by some higher power, and it's our responsibility to use them for good in the world.

The Heavy Burden of Responsibility

But, of course, with great power comes great responsibility (I know, so cliché, but it's true). Wearing our mantle means we have to face the challenges of wielding our gifts. It's like this constant reminder that we have the power to make a difference, but we also have to be mindful of the impact our actions have on others.

Being an Example for Others

And let's not forget, wearing a mantle also means we're kind of putting ourselves out there. People notice when you wear your power proudly, and suddenly, you're an example for others to follow. That's a lot of pressure, right? But it's also a fantastic opportunity to show the world how our gifts can be used for good (and maybe even inspire others to do the same.)

Duty and Servitude

Finally, I think one of the most important things about wearing our power like a mantle is recognizing that it's not just for our benefit. Our gifts are meant to be used in service of others, and that's a responsibility we shouldn’t take lightly.

What does your mantle look like?

What color(s), what fabric? What patterns? Heavy or light? Would you always wear it? Can you lend your mantle to others? Try to ask yourself these questions, and maybe. some interesting answers start popping up.

In any case, I hope this piece resonates with you and helps you think about how you wear your mantle—your gift or power—as much as it does with me.

Leave a comment

Thanks for reading!

Jibran

"Love the Process."

Ah, that ever-present platitude, so often uttered that it feels as if it's lost its essence. Alongside clichés like "think outside the box" and "win-win situation," these phrases pass through our ears, barely registering as meaningful or relevant.

To infuse some fresh meaning into this tired expression, let's dissect "love the process" and make it tangible, using a brief personal story as our guide. But first, let's make sure we're on the same page: Loving the process means truly embracing it, allowing the desired outcomes to emerge organically.

Simple as it sounds, actually living this mantra can prove elusive. So, let's clarify what loving the process is not:

• It doesn't mean adoring every single aspect of your process. Chances are, you won't be head over heels for every task.

• It's not about coercing yourself into loving what you're doing. Love can't be forced.

• It doesn't involve turning a blind eye to the less pleasant parts of your process or tasks.

With that in mind, let's delve into a personal example of loving the process.

When you're fully immersed in work that genuinely captivates you—perhaps even love—it becomes your driving force. For me, that force is exploring ideas within my current interests and weaving them into a cohesive narrative, often expressed visually or textually.

However, the act of translating these ideas into something accessible to others demands extra effort. To share my viewpoint with those of differing backgrounds, I must craft a gripping story or illustration. This involves outlining, writing, finding examples and visuals, and ultimately, hitting "publish."

Naturally, I find some tasks more pleasurable than others. But I still tackle the less alluring aspects of the process because sharing my discoveries brings me joy. Sometimes, I might choose not to publish if I think it won't add value (indeed, sidestepping over-optimization can help maintain that spark in the process).

Although certain tasks might not be as gratifying as the exploratory work, they're still vital to the whole process. By honing my focus on creating a body of work that is both aesthetically appealing and captivating for the right audience, I find satisfaction in the entire process.

In summary, learning to love the process means embracing both the delightful and the daunting aspects of your work and recognizing that each element plays a part in the final product. By tying this abstract concept to real-life experiences, we can rekindle its meaning and motivate ourselves to authentically love the process.

So, what does your (creative) process entail? Which parts do you find most enjoyable?

Leave a comment

Cheers,

Jibran

Find someone who is a catalyst for your power.

In part one, we delved into recognizing our gifts, and in part two, we pondered how to accept them, even when they seemed more like a burden than a blessing. Today, in part three, let's jump into the realm of catalysts, those beings or experiences that enhance and amplify your gift, creating a more potent you.

Throughout my life, I've found inspiration in stories, myths, and even popular culture that showcase the fusion, or uniting, of power. From Dragon Ball Z to legendary heroes, the concept of finding a catalyst to amplify your strength is a recurring theme that has resonated with me.

A catalyst—person, group, or environment—empowers and elevates your gift, inspiring, challenging, and supporting your growth.

Subscribe now

Different Types of Catalysts

In my life, I've stumbled upon various catalysts that have helped me “unfold” into the curious creature I am today.

Mutually Strengthening Relationships (complementing each other's gifts)

I've been fortunate enough to form friendships and partnerships with people whose unique gifts interlock with mine like pieces of a puzzle. Take, for example, my dear wife and I as we embark on projects together. I'm the one who conjures novel ideas, designs, or visions, yet I’m pretty bad—though getting better—when it comes to following through. Gigi, however, is a relentless force of nature who pushes us across the finish line. Together, we've achieved feats we could never have imagined, like renovating our humble abode and traversing the globe.

Friendly Competition (or sibling rivalry)

A friendly rivalry—often found between siblings in their younger years—can be a catalyst for propelling oneself to new heights. Having someone who shares a similar gift and constantly challenges you to improve is a powerful motivator. I recall the days of playing Smash and Halo with my younger brother, locked in a fierce but loving battle to outdo one another. (What say you to a game of Smash Sudden Death soon, dear brother? 😘)

Cheerleader-Type Support (from friends and family)

In my journey, I've found a wellspring of support from friends—both in the digital and physical realms—and family who believe in me and my gift without reservation. They provide the encouragement, motivation, and emotional sustenance I need to keep forging ahead, even when faced with seemingly insurmountable obstacles.

Honest Feedback from a Peer Group (learning & growing together)

Joining communities (like the lovely for example)  and other groups related to my passions—like my local group of fellow freelancers and entrepreneurs—have provided me with valuable feedback. The best constructive criticism, or True Sight™️, emanates from peers who share your taste in work and can offer feedback that genuinely illuminates your path. This also unlocks opportunities to learn from their experiences and to give back in your own unique way.

What better catalyst than a group of like-minded folks with whom you connect with?

Embracing the Catalyst

Reflecting on my personal journey of embracing my gift—my insatiable curiosity and passion for asking questions—I can see how different catalysts have contributed to my growth. From mentors who nurtured my inquisitiveness to peer groups of fellow knowledge-seekers, each connection has helped me unlock a fragment of my potential.

So, as you continue to work with your gift, be open to finding the catalyst that will help you unlock your full potential. It might materialize in the form of a person, a group, or an experience, but when you find it, embrace it and let it guide you to amplify the latent power within.

Do you have someone or something that’s a catalyst for your gifts? Let me know!

Leave a comment

Warm regards,

Jibran

“You have to be transparent, so you no longer cast a shadow, but instead let the light pass through you."
Kamand Kojouri

Such a beautiful phrase that made me reshape my wonder about what we mean by the word “transparency” (or being a transparent person).

Dictionaries define transparency (as it relates to people) as follows:

”Having thoughts or feelings that are easily perceived.”

This definition above is how I’ve always used the term as well. But maybe the origin of the term comes from what Kamand talks about. That if you’re transparent, you can let the light pass through. “Light” is another metaphor here. I’d interpret it as “goodness” (or God, or source, or love). So when you are transparent, you let the light pass through you and illuminate—enlighten—what lies before you.

When you are transparent,
you let the light pass through you,
illuminating what lies before you.
me <3

Another metaphor for becoming transparent.

If you’re transparent, one can see through you as if you were a ghost—a spirit. Aren’t ghosts or spirits of another world? Will you then “leave this world” when you become fully transparent? In a way, yes. If you let go of all desires—non-attachment, as some eastern traditions talk about—then you’re not “bound” to this world anymore.1

So is becoming transparent the practice of spirituality, then? I’m not sure, maybe I’m making connections that are too out there, but it does feel like a coincidence that’s too beautiful not to relate.

What happens if you’re not transparent?

You will cast a shadow, darkening what lies before you. Your shadow will be darker the more solid—or less transparent—you are. Is this what eastern traditions mean by (the negatives of) attachment? That if you attach yourself to the world—to matter—you will block the light, casting a shadow.2

Sounds likely, to me.

The shadow here represents the parts of us we don’t want to look at, the parts that we’re attached to and hide—pain, trauma, shameful thoughts, guilt, etc. The dark things we all carry with us—karma, you might say. We have to, at some point, acknowledge it and do something with it, or else it’ll lash out in our lives while we’re unconscious of it. Casting a shadow.

Ignore your shadow at your peril.

Carl Jung, famous for talking about the shadow, has an interesting quote that relates:

“Everyone carries a shadow, and the less it is embodied in the individual's conscious life, the blacker and denser it is.”

It essentially says the same thing, the less transparent you are to yourself, the darker your shadow.

To become transparent, understand yourself.

But if we understand our inner worlds better, we can detach, acknowledge, accept, and then let go of our shadow. I wonder if this is what some people mean by being “enlightened?” Or holy? I.e., "holy" people lost (a big part of) their shadow through a deep understanding of themselves and, in the words of Nelson Mandela, are now letting their light shine and giving others permission to do the same.3 (Hence halos are depicted around their heads.)

I think this is a good quote to end this on. For now.

“As we let our own light shine, we consciously give other people permission to do the same.”
Nelson Mandela

Thanks for reading.

Leave a comment

Bright regards,

Jibran

Hey friends, I came across this short thread, and I know many who’ve had this sinking feeling, me included. So I thought I’d write a little response.

This will change.

If you said you were 66, then maybe not. Or at least it’d be way more difficult cause there’s even more “karma” attached to your self/ego. But at 26, you got a life ahead of you!

I had this feeling of having wasted my life until I was nearly 35, and it went away completely1 after I realized I was good enough as I am.2 Maybe not all my actions and ways of thinking—i.e., the persona or ego—but the core part of me? That’s just unbounded goodness. As is everyone’s core being.

Now I see just being here—alive and taking in the world—as a gift. So I might as well enjoy it while I’m here and play around with the other beings.

And on a more particular note—and maybe it’s stronger for women, though I always experienced this as well: Do you have the wish to become a parent?

I know women who’ve “filled” that hole or sinking feeling by becoming a mom. From my experience as a dad, having kids also helps me with a part of that “meaning-making.” Not necessarily because of a “look at me, I’m leaving a legacy” idea but because my kids make me feel grateful every day cause I can see the world through their eyes of wonder.

Anyway, good luck, you’ll be fine!

Leave a comment

Warm regards,

Jibran

Hey friends,

Good ‘ol Visa tweeted this thread (see below), which I actually agree with, but I felt it didn’t consider some trade-offs (which he doesn’t have to caveat in a thread, of course, but that I feel are interesting to talk about).

So I started writing a reply, which became very long, which made me decide to write a small post on it (cause I guess I have something to say on the matter).

Visa’s thread:

Ok, let me start by saying I agree with the logical steps & outcome.

I've seen this happen in the wild. But I’m still gonna play the devil's advocate here—by asking a question—cause I think there's value in looking at the (possible) trade-offs.

The question

Can we really make a fair comparison if one of these food truck or author folks likes marketing & one doesn't?

My (not so hypothetical) answer

I think that the one who doesn't like marketing (or less so) will chip away a little bit of their soul/self each time they do work they hate doing, in this case, marketing, which would very quickly turn out to be a net negative, even with the value add of a bigger distribution.

Let’s dig a bit deeper into this chipping-away-at-your-soul thing

Marketing is partially manipulative, especially so when it's done “well.” I.e., in a way such that people hardly notice they are being marketed to. The food truck person who does that marketing well has to be(come) a skilled manipulator, even when delivering on promises.

Doing all that marketing, their mind is occupied with crafting a marketing scheme to get better distribution, making them spend less time on what they enjoy most. Doing foodtrucky stuff.

Is this really The Better outcome?

You could argue that if they don't solve for distribution, they won't get customers and won't be able to run their food truck. Losing the work they actually like doing. And yes, that might be true, but definitely not always. It’s not a winner-take-all world in most creative work, and making good food is an art. So the food truck dude/chick might very well be better off doing what they’re good at instead of doing a shitty job at marketing as much as possible.

Then there is the limit to how far one should go with marketing.

If you have enough to make a livelihood, doing more, at the cost of doing your creative thing, is just greedy. (The emphasis here is key.)

That’s why most marketing you see is from, relatively speaking, shitty-product people. People who make a living and think that’s enough make up a small part of the marketing landscape. So you see mostly stuff from the louder and greedier ones. They are usually the ones with the biggest social accounts (Visa is one of the few exceptions here btw).

Circling back to the losing your soul/self thing.

I’m not sure that the loudest “creators” (the word creator is almost becoming synonymous with “content creator,” and that with “marketer,” nowadays) are happy.

They’re so loud, wanting so much attention over actually doing the creative work, that it sounds like just another way to fill the gaping God-shaped hole, which can never be filled with outside things.

IMO, this has also been a clear realization among many in the productivity-creator-marketing community on Twitter. Many creators who became famous for being good marketers (but not especially superb writers) have suddenly stepped off the marketing wheel and started talking about being authentic and creative because they realized the poor trade-off they made. I.e., selling their soul.

I think that realization is good btw, but I feel it's better to realize beforehand that there is a trade-off between putting money-making first or the art first. And the balance there is key, and different for everyone, depending on how much you like marketing, for one.

NB. My thoughts on this are still kinda not totally completely clear. But writing this is clearing things up! So please do feel free to discuss!

Leave a comment

Cheers!

Jibran

Hey friends, today a mini-essay on the idea of “outcome over ego.” (I found some notes on this in my PKM (Personal Knowledge Management) tools as I am consolidating some of my notes.)

One difference between a childish response vs. an adult response is to choose the right outcome over what feels comfortable for your ego.

If you choose your ego, a selfish choice, essentially, you optimize for feeling good—in the moment—instead of doing actual good.

It’s choosing the lesser good vs, the greater good.

And by choosing the lesser good over and over, you will create a downward spiral.

Instead, if you regard the outcome as more important than your ego, you'll create an upward spiral and make a real positive impact possible.

But how can you actively practice choosing the greater good? I.e., choosing outcome over ego?

By asking yourself questions. The right questions.

Asking better questions of yourself—and then answering them truthfully—will net you better answers.

Those answers, in turn, will help you to make better decisions and thus take better actions. (Actions that serve the outcome you really want, vs. the outcome your ego may wish.)

But as you can imagine, asking and answering questions truthfully means leaving your ego at the door. That's not an easy choice, by any means. But it is the right choice.

There are some tools and practices that can help you with that, of course: meditation, coaching, conversation, psychedelics, or walking around in nature, to name just a few.

For now, I have a short list for you with a few questions to get you started. Hopefully, it'll help you achieve some great outcomes as a result!

• What story are you telling yourself?

• Who do you want to share this life with?​

• What would you do if fear was not a factor and you could not fail?​

• Are my actions guided by love, or by fear?​

• Who do you want to serve (in this life, in your business)?

Thanks for reading!

Leave a comment

Cheers,

Jibran

If you click the button below, you can read the first in the series, “It's easy to be ignorant of your gift.”

#1 - It's easy to ignore your gift

The gift is part of who you are. If you suppress it, you forsake yourself…

Your gift can feel like a curse at first because you don't yet know how to use it to its full potential.

It is rare to follow your gift, especially between the ages of 10 and 30. Just the act of listening to your calling, even if it's vague at first, makes you deviant by nature.

The specific way in which you become deviant is the specific shadow that the light of your gift casts. That shadow can take the shape of many things, but here's a quick example of my life:

My gift is being curious, which manifests itself in asking questions. All. The. Time.

You could probably imagine what that was like in a school where asking the teachers questions was seen as disrespectful—going even further when asking questions that were out of the curriculum or that made the rest of the class feel uneasy. "You're too curious for your own good,” is what I was told.1

It's not strange, then, to start resenting your gift, for it is the thing that makes you disconnected from others. But since the gift is part of who you are, if you suppress it, you forsake yourself, turning into a depressed and bitter person.

Truly feeling cursed.

It can take many years of having a difficult life—either answering your gift but feeling an outcast or ignoring it but feeling disconnected from yourself—if you don’t have mentors or examples to help and support you.

Only when learning to slowly work with your gift, realizing that there is an equal light side to the dark, can you see the impact you can have on your own life and that of others.

What is your gift (or calling or power)? And has it ever felt like a curse?

Leave a comment

Thanks for reading!

Jibran

It’s interesting seeing my own words from three years ago staring back at me: I have definitely come a long way in curtailing my imposter syndrome, though I still can get “poisoned” by it from time to time.

Anyway, here it is. Enjoy!

Have you ever felt like you don't deserve the success you’re dreaming of? Or feel you aren’t allowed the joy of the things you have achieved already?

I sure have.

This thing called imposter syndrome can hit me hard sometimes. But I’m learning that comparing myself to others is not helpful at all. It only leads to envy and feeling down about myself.

So, now I try to promote and share other people's accomplishments and feel happy for them.

Being a fan of others actually inspires me and makes me believe that maybe I, too, can achieve what I want (while enjoying it).

I've come to realize that we all have our unique paths to follow.

That we all have our own game to play, so I focus on paving my own path and working on my creative endeavors without worrying about competing with others.

And even though the process of finding how far I can go can be exciting and scary at the same time, I embrace it. The curiosity about my own path helps me ignore other people's paths and believe I am the best person for my journey.

Still, being self-critical is something that I will probably always struggle with. It is both a superpower, showing me what is important to me, and a poison, paralyzing me.

But when I feel grateful for what I have already achieved, or feel grateful for the lovely friends and family that support me and that I can support in turn, I don’t feel like an imposter at all.

Gratitude is the antidote to the poisonous side of imposter syndrome for me.

So I practice gratitude. ❤️

Leave a comment

Stumbling upon this entry is a good reminder to me to be grateful for what I already have.

Regards,

Jibran

Hey friends, this is micro-essay #1 (of ~7) in a miniseries on "Working with your gift," which itself is part of the 100-day Creator Challenge I’m doing. (Yeah, I’m probably making it more complicated than I should.)

When we choose to dive deep into the cold, dark waters of our souls, we get to see what gifts we’ve been blessed with

As most of our gifts are innate to us, we rarely feel they are unique to us. We may assume, incorrectly, that everyone has the same skills, strengths, or way of thinking as us.

Thus, we frequently ignore our gifts for a long time and may even be afraid to use our gift—which we do not yet know is a gift—to its fullest potential (because we might have been hurt by its dark side).

When we don’t realize that we have a gift or we don’t know what our gift is, we cannot use it to its fullest potential.

So we must recognize that the most significant part of our power is only unlocked when we look beneath the "surface." Only when we choose to dive deep into the cold, dark waters of our soul, do we get to see what gift we’ve been blessed with.

So what is your gift? What is your superpower? (And how will you “save the world” with that?)

Leave a comment

Regards,

Jibran

Have you ever finished a meal and realized that you didn't actually taste the food?

It’s happened to me too often, so for lunch today, I consciously chose to “eat mindfully.” (It helped that I made my own gluten-free pizza. An indulgence. 😋)

What is mindful eating? - Mindful eating is simply taking the time to sit down and focus solely on the food you're eating. No phones, no videos, no podcasts—just eating and savoring the flavors and textures of the food. (It’s crazy to me that we even have to name this as the exception. I imagine mindful eating was the norm in ancient times.) 

Mindful eating sounds simple, but it can be a challenge to break the habit of consuming something other than food while we eat. This is especially true now that we live in a world where we're constantly bombarded with stimuli. It’s become more difficult to focus on one thing at a time, including our meals.

It’s not that I’ve been a completely mindless eater, though.

When I look around at the people I know, in general, I still eat more slowly, chew more often, and take time to attend to the details of what I put in my mouth. Also, during dinner, my wife, kids, and I always eat as a family together, without screens or music. But there are still many moments when I find myself distracted while eating. This is especially the case when I'm working alone at home, and my computer or phone is but an arms-length away.

Eating my pizza with more intention and attention just now made me reflect on the constant consumption of content I engage in. Halfway through the pizza, I even felt… bored? Though maybe “bored” isn’t the right word, but more a lack of input? Almost like I’ve been conditioned to constantly seek input.1

Insane, right?

So, I’m making a commitment to myself to try and eat more mindfully. To savor the moment and truly taste my food.

Subscribe now

Bon Appétit!

Jibran

You see, I’m something of a blacksmith myself…

Seriously though, I have a 600-pound piece of proof in my backyard.

Side note: that moonlighting as a blacksmith thing? That was eight or so years ago—before my eldest was born—and it was mostly an amateur/hobby thing. Now I am merely an enjoyer of the work of others (but one day, I hope I find the time again to indulge in this).

Ok, back to the story.

There’s a small crowd around the smith, all looking at his work and watching him work his handmade bellows, hammer, and anvil with awe. After a while, I start conversing with the smith and ask him a few questions about his tools and process. I ask about the bellows—as I’ve never seen that specific kind—and notice the smith’s hands are trembling, and his voice is slightly stuttering.

He tells me about how he made the bellows, which he made in a particular manner. And while he tells me so, he grabs a picture from his leather apron and shows it to me.

The picture is of a medieval mural from the 1300s. It depicts a very—like, very, VERY—simplified bellows behind two smiths doing some smithing work.

The smith tells me he made the bellows, that’s right next to us, based on the picture he has in his hand. Then, in confused-stuttering wording, he tries to explain that he made it using the tools they had at hand in those ancient times. To try and replicate it in such a way as they made it in that era.

I immediately understand what he means and nod with excitement.

“You mean you want to learn how they built it by actually making it yourself?” I ask.

He responds by eagerly nodding and starts explaining the details of how he figured out the working of the 1300s bellows.

He explains that he made the bellows in the picture not because he wants to know how a bellows is made now but because he wants to understand how a bellows was made in that era (which we didn’t know).

So to figure it out, he took the mural picture's end vision and tried to recreate a working version of the bellows using only the tools they had at the time.

Two key points here are one, “working,” because a mockup is not a representation of reality at that time. And two, do it by using solely the tools & materials of that time. (Else, you’d skip steps or do something different and never get to the problems they had to solve in that era.)

He says he needed multiple iterations because some shapes and methods worked out well while some didn’t. (That’s where the magic of actually doing the work happened.)

And now, through his empirical way of crafting, he figured out how things were made in that era and transported this knowledge from 700 years ago into the present.

Amazing, right? A new piece of knowledge is unlocked for us!

I notice he’s relaxed and not stuttering or trembling anymore. And as we finish our conversation, he gives me his number on a scrap piece of paper—something he says he hasn’t done before—telling me to call him if I ever wanna see his blacksmith shop. “No promises though, cause sometimes I don’t like people around.”

I smile and shake his hand, thanking him for the invitation, his time, and his explanation. As I give him one last compliment on his craft, I’m reminded of the fact that I came here with my wife and kids…

I look around, but they’re nowhere to be seen. “Guess I’ll go and look at the fire spitters. I’m sure my boy is hanging out around there.”

Thanks for reading; I loved recollecting this story.

Subscribe now

Have a good weekend!

Jibran

So, you found “Product-Market Fit” for your startup idea. You feel all fine and dandy. On top of the world even.1

So you start working on your business. (Probably some Saas—how else would you be able to 100x within a year? 😱)

But what you don’t know is that within a year, you’re stuck in your business. Hate working on it, and you’re struggling with it simultaneously!

Maybe you’re struggling because you sell to consumers for $1 a month while they load you with support questions. (But you’re not that into a big volume of customer support…)

Or you hate the work because you have to “follow orders” from venture capitalists that invested in you. (But your whole reason for starting a business was being independent…)

Then you pull the plug, cut your losses, and write a postmortem on hacker news…

(That goes viral, and you make a book about it, and now you’re a content creator—read: marketer in disguise—selling others how to make money online…)

Probably not the route you wanted to go initially. Right?

You “wasted” a year of your life building a business that doesn’t fit you. (And if you get stuck in it, it’s even worse.)

So is there a better way of looking at starting a business? To build a business that is both robust and fits you?

Yes.

In this post, I share some “factors” you could look at to then map onto the type of business you could start. Let’s go!

Business factors important to you

#1 - B2B vs. B2C

Do you want to sell to businesses or consumers? They each come with their pros and cons. e.g., consumers don’t like paying much. Building an app for consumers will force you to need much volume for profitability.

Businesses expect high service, but you can provide that with a higher price point.

You can reach consumers pretty well with SEO strategies. But by selling to businesses, you need more direct sales. What do you prefer?

#2 - Bootstrap or VC

Being able to bootstrap has the upside of sole control over the direction of your business. But for some startups that need a lot of capital upfront, it’s not an option.

It would help if you thought about what you find most important.

• The success of a specific business idea, including VC investment?

• Or doing something else/different with that idea that is bootstrap-able.

#3 - Fun to work on

To be able to persevere with your business, you need to have fun. Not necessarily 100% of the time. But most of the time.

It means liking your clients and liking the day-to-day work, or gaining fulfillment from the change your business brings to the world.

#4 - Solve a problem you have/had

If you can relate to your clients personally, it makes it so much easier to stay in business.

I can’t stress enough how much of an impact this can have.

When you know the pain of your clients, you can empathize with them. You can choose the right course for your products and services. You understand customer questions and struggles.

It’s no coincidence that many successful businesses started with a pain the founder(s) had.

#5 - Is a high price point possible

An impactful but straightforward factor.

Can you sell a product or service at a high price point? (e.g. $100+)

If so, you don’t have to sell to as many people. Which enables you to spend more time per customer. And less (support) overhead.

Also, margins are usually higher percentages (than low price point offerings). This gives you the option to experiment with products while having less risk.

Subscribe now

#6 - Market size

While ‘niching down’ is essential in starting most (non-artistic) businesses. You do want to have a broader market surrounding it. It enables you to grow into a broader product/service offering if you like to do so.

But when the broader market is small, your business growth will be constrained.

(It does depend a lot on what products and services you offer and their price point.)

#7 - Legal complexity

I have yet to speak to a founder who specifically started a business ‘because of’ the legal complexity. But some businesses have regulations and legal complexity. If you can help it, avoid it. But if you must, do get advice from a professional.

Some industries where there is much regulation: are finances/money, health/hospitals, and services for children/schools.

(These are industries where, not coincidental, there is still much left to innovate!)

Pointing: Low legal complexity +1 | High legal complexity -1

#8 - Competitors

It may look like you are a ‘first mover’ when you can’t find competitors for your business idea. But it’s more likely that, for some reason, your business can’t work out in a practical sense.

It’s not often you have such an innovative idea that no one thinks about it and cannot make it work.

If, for some reason, you do have an idea like that, you can’t validate it by looking at competitors. So this should at least give you a big red flag!

If you do find competitors, it gives you some idea of what may work. But also gives you an edge to start a similar thing but better (because you don’t have the ‘legacy’ they have).

Subscribe now

#9 - Impact on the world

Does your business leave the world a better place than when it wouldn’t be there?

Being able to show my kids the impact my work had over the decades, I want it to be positive. So for me, this is an important one. However, sadly for many, it comes as an afterthought.

But if this is important to you, and you don’t think about it, believe me, you won’t persevere.

#10 - Revenue model

The way you monetize is important. Do you want recurring revenue, pay-per-use, or something else?

There is a multitude of options here. And while an important factor, it’s one of the easier ones to change (read: “easier,” not easy).

(Also, you can have more next to each other, or have it differ on each product/service.)

#11 - Solopreneur option

Can you do it all by yourself?

Not a necessity at all, btw. But maybe you don’t like managing other people. Or you are unwilling to work with someone else. Then this is a factor that determines if the business will be successful or not.

Here again, there are pros and cons. e.g., Working alone makes you agile, which makes you able to pivot quickly. On the other hand, it may keep you in a bubble (too long) when working on something.

(For artistic endeavors having a solo option is usually very important, so as not to “muddle” your vision.)

#12 - Shareability and Likeability

Free marketing, anyone?

Building out a product that people like and even love makes them share it. Your customers sharing your product is the best marketing you can have. And it’s free!

So, is your business idea delivering something that customers can share? And can they share without friction?

An example of an industry that does this nicely is fitness apps. Another specific big one is Instagram.

#13 - Scalability

Do you have to manually do (a lot of) work for each customer? Can you provide service for one customer almost as easily as a thousand?

At the beginning of your business, this is not a necessity most of the time. But if you want to scale, better make your offering scalable.

If the scale is not of much importance to you (which is a fair option, by the way), then this factor is less of an impact on you. (Where the scale is less important is in a business doing custom jewelry work, for example.)

Something to keep in mind while thinking about this considering your business idea: “What parts of my business could I automate?”

14 - Multi-sided business model

Creating a multi-sided business has been successful for some companies. But it’s a prime example of the chicken-egg problem. You need both sides of the model/marketplace to work.

“Let’s build a marketplace for X!”

You need to create TWO separate value propositions for different types of customers.

Essentially this means you are starting two businesses at the same time. (As if starting one company is not hard enough already…)

(If you can start off providing value for one part of the marketplace already, then it’s not much of a problem. Then it may even be an excellent way to grow your business later.)

#15 - Data management (storage and retrieval)

Every business has some data (on their customers)—even just an email address.

But some products and services require an insane amount of information or computation. e.g., products where you provide recommendation services, cloud hosting, or use time-series data.

It doesn’t have to be an issue. And data being “the new oil” can give you side benefits you can leverage in your business. Selling that data (I recommend anonymized or aggregated insights only) is one option. Another option is building new products on the ideas you get from that data.

But storage en retrieval of a large amount of data does complicate your business. Your infrastructure, maintenance, and processes need to be efficient.

#16 - Dependent on one other business

I’ve seen some businesses that build on top of other businesses. Be it on top of Google, Facebook, or some API. This can be risky.

The company you build on top of can shut down its service without notice or fail for another reason.

Secondly, you have to maintain your connection with that business up-to-date in many ways. Update and upgrade your software or supply line to handle changes.

In the end, you’re at the mercy of the company or service on which you built your service.

In the beginning, it may be fine (to validate your business). But check if it’s possible to have more than one dependent-upon party.

Subscribe now

Ok, that’s a wrap! These are the factors I have looked at when valuing a business idea even before I validate the product/market fit. If the business wouldn’t fit my lifestyle, it’s a waste to spend time and energy validating it.

So, while some factors are must-haves for me—like a “Positive impact on the world,” “Have fun doing the work,” and “Solopreneur —they’re different for everyone.

If you take away anything from this, it’s that you need to look at more than the product/market fit.

i.e., Ask yourself how the a How do you see yourself running your business in a year? Or in 3 years? Or with a spouse and kids?

So, let me know in the comments what kind of business fits you!

Leave a comment

Cheers!

Jibran

‍

I say, fee free to grab one or more prompts and journal on it. You’d be amazed at what can surface.

Enjoy!

What are some ways you can show yourself some love and care daily?

What's one thing you can do right now to practice self-love?

What's one thing you can do this week to keep your self-love journey going?

What are some things you wanna do to celebrate and honor your self-love?

How do you see yourself feeling and acting when you're in a state of self-love?

Who's someone who's taught you about unconditional love?

What do you like about your body? (Think about it with compassion and love in mind.)

How would you describe love using all five senses?

What's the last loving interaction you had?

Do you think you deserve to be loved?

How has someone changed your life through their kindness?

What does self-love mean to you? (Write a letter to yourself about it.)

Have you ever experienced the difference between conditional and unconditional love?

How does fear hold you back from loving and being loved?

How can you make it easier for yourself to love and be loved?

Thank you!

Jibran