As seen in:
hackernews featureDesigner news featureDesigner news feature

How to Be More Confident

written by JIBRAN EL BAZI |
TABLE OF CONTENTS

Habits are the "secret sauce" to help you become more confident. Nick Wignall talks about four in particular that can help you.

Accept your fear

Fear helps you detect dangerous situations, don't get rid of it. Don't run away from it. Also, some fear enables you to perform better; through the hormones, it helps release and the neurological improvement you get. If you try to avoid fear, you breed anxiety, which is the last thing you want.

Communicate your wants and needs

Confident people act according to their desires. E.g., they are Assertive. If you always put other people's wishes before your own, you're always going to feel unworthy. To become more assertive, set boundaries, say, "No" to what you don't want, and respectfully ask for what you do want.

Make decisions based on values

Not on feelings. This means not avoiding tasks or situations because they might feel uncomfortable. Instead, stick to your principles. Choose values over feelings. An example of this is to not watch another season of Game of Thrones but to write that blog post, review that report, or clean your kitchen.

Be compassionate with yourself

Often, low-self-confidence goes hand-in-hand with being highly judgmental with yourself. This especially emerges after 'mistakes.' E.g., "If I wasn't so nervous, I would have no problem giving that presentation. No wonder people don't ask me to do presentations." This negative self-talk is usually unrealistic AND makes you feel even worse. Which creates a negative spiral. Try to be more compassionate to yourself, like you may be to a small child who is struggling with their own fear and anxiety.

FOOTNOTES
More articles on this topic
5 Ways You Can Deal With the Fear of Failure
Overcome Your Limiting Beliefs

When you stop resisting the fear—let it pass over you and through you—you'll come to find that there is nothing left but you. You're letting your subconscious know that it's OK to feel the fear. It's like saying to yourself, "See? You let it flow through you, but nothing bad happened!"

Read more...

What I strive for is 'Wealth in the form of Time.' There is only one 'Me,' and if I don't take control of my time, someone else will.

Read more...

Negative visualization is something I was forced to practice 4 years ago when my wife and I had our baby girl. Epictetus's example was all too real for us: “In the very act of kissing the child, we should silently reflect on the possibility that she will die tomorrow.”

Read more...
Do You Have Imposter Syndrome
Overcome Your Limiting Beliefs

My 16 Takeaways from Lex Fridman's AMA on Imposter Syndrome

Read more...

He's so hard on himself at those times, many times my son believes everything he's making is a failure because it's not like he imagines it is. Then he destroys it or throws it around the room. Which happened this time too.

Read more...
The Robot and The Muse
Overcome Your Limiting Beliefs

As a creator, you want to create. To tell a Story. You have this urge in you that needs to bring to life a vision, a feeling, a message. No matter what else you do in life, this urge to create — this Muse — needs to express herself.

Read more...
How to Be More Confident
Overcome Your Limiting Beliefs

Habits are the "secret sauce" to help you become more confident. Nick Wignall talks about four in particular that can help you.

Read more...
Journaling prompts for self-love.
Overcome Your Limiting Beliefs

Here are 11 Journaling prompts for self-love.

Read more...
You Do Matter
Overcome Your Limiting Beliefs

You're right, it is all meaningless- in a sense. Just like a single molecule or a rock, we humans mean nothing to the universe at large. We are so insignificant that it can be the most depressing thing you can think of. But there is hope.

Read more...

Want to Know Your Creative Potential?

[Free Quiz]

Join other creatives—entrepreneurs, artists, freelancers, and online creators—in learning about your strong and weak spots in your creative practice.

You'll receive a personalized report in your inbox that shows you your current "score" in four different areas:

  • your authentic voice.
  • your creative mindset.
  • your creative practice or business.
  • your connection to others through your creative expression.
Take My quiz & find out

What others think about my writing

"Love the article on stoicism, thanks!"

M Carychao

"Lovely, Jibran. 💜 I hope you are not wrong about me."

Eyal Shay

Host of Deep Dive Podcast

"Beautiful writing! Grateful to know you, grateful to walk side by side."

Rick Benger

Storyteller, Writer, Founder