Just be kind
is, again, the only essential lesson.
In late April, I went on a short solo hiking trip and wrote down some thoughts; here’s a part of it.
So, what have I learned from this trip? Well, nothing and a lot, lol.
“Just be kind” is again the only essential lesson. But the why of it sometimes helps to make it stick. And there are many whys.
Like realizing that we all have both the ability and every reason to suffer constantly—just open a newspaper, and there it is, suffering. Life is difficult enough already. There’s no reason to make it even harder. Just be kind.
Second, every moment is stored in your bodymind, not as distinct memories per se—although I can see that may happen with very impactful singular moments—but every interaction (re)shapes the nervous system. Every angry face or voice, especially from a parent (figure) or, later, a partner, is a strong influencer of emotions and thus of what is happening within you.
When you are aware of such an emotion rising up (due to whatever is happening in that moment, be it an interaction with a person or watching the news), you can kind of “dissipate” what you feel, in a good way. I.e., you let the emotion that arises run its course without necessarily needing to act on it. (You’re being kind toward the emotion.) But without this welcoming awareness that emotion may not get its time in the light, because it’s not allowed, and then it is stored in this contorted pattern within you.
That’s what trauma is, a strong contortion of your bodymind/nervous system in such a way that whatever comes in gets interpreted and filtered as dangerous, fearful, etc. All this is a survival mechanism, of course. Without it, we, as humans, would be long dead. But that doesn’t mean you should let that survival mechanism drive the bus, so to speak.
Alas, this (emotional) awareness is something we’re definitely not all blessed with naturally or equally, though it can be cultivated. But not everyone has the time, knowledge, or guidance to practice that, so when people act with kindness toward you, you to them, and you to yourself, it goes a long way!
Anyway, enough for now, as I’m hungry (and letting the hunger emotion run its course 😉).
I have a story about hunger as well, btw, or rather, satiation. And why fasting is such a powerful practice, being able to sit with dis-satisfaction. Being satisfied with hunger. That is actually a way out of suffering.
Cheers,
Jibran
PS. I know it’s been a while since I posted something. I’ve been working a lot on my business (producing and selling card decks, here in the Netherlands, as a tool that helps with meaning-making) and moved offices as well. But I hope to share something here on Substack more often, though I won’t sweat it when I don’t. (I’ve let go of the need for posting weekly for a few years now, but gaps as long as I currently have are maybe too much toward the other end of the spectrum…)
Anyway, see you soon!